The Secret Truth to Relationships #1

The Morning Muse:
There are secret truths to relationships that should've be taught to us before we even started dating as teenagers. I can't believe that after 15 years of dating and committed relationships I only recently started to learn and accept these truths.
Secret Truth to Relationships #1: You can't control your partners, you can only control yourself! This may seem like common sense, but ask yourself how many times you've tried to control your partners. You may not have even realized you were doing it. Have you ever been disappointed when your partner did not meet your expectations? Have you tried to get them to change something about themselves, even something little? Have you resorted to "game" techniques in an attempt to elicit a desired response? Those are all ways, however harmless the intention, that we try to control our partners. Here's the most amazing thing... if you focus on yourself, on making yourself a more evolved partner, and give your partner love and support instead of criticism, you are actually giving them the space to make changes (changes that make the relationship better). If you give up the control and give in to unconditional love, you are in turn getting a richer relationship. And, if your partner, after your gift of unconditional love combined with honest communication, does not evolve with you, then you have the power to choose to stay in the relationsip or find one that is more compatible. Again, the only thing you can control is yourself and your actions. So, if you are following the Secret Truth to Relationships #1, and find yourself in an unfilling relationship, you have the power to leave. Just know that you did all you could. However, being the optimist that I am, and being that I personally have seen my relationships improve by accepting that I can not control my partners, I believe that in some way your relationship will deepen even if is in unexpected ways. My intention for today is to remember Secret Truth to Relationships #1 and give my boyfriend extra love and support.

(If your interested in more Secret Truths to Relationships, keep reading my blog!)

Gratitude Review:
1. I am so thankful for the lessons I learn. I am thankful to come across people that teach me lessons and I am thankful to be the kind of person that is open to learning new lessons. I used to be a stubborn girl, but I have grown into an open-minded woman, and I am proud of that. I am constantly growing, my relationships are constantly deepening, and my life is constantly evolving! I am very grateful for that and I owe it to all the lessons I am taught and accept.
2. I am grateful for the generosity of friends. I am so thankful to have friends that want to lift up the people around them. They want success and happiness for their loved ones as much as they want it for themselves, and I am grateful to be surrounded by these people. For example, my friend, Vanessa, is opening a personal development school in San Diego this January. She has invited me to teach classes there, and I have welcomed the invitation. She asked me because she supports my dreams and the message I deliver to my students. I feel the same way about her mission. I am grateful to have a friend like her and to be able to give her the same support she gives me. If your interested, check out the classes on her website, www.illuminateyourlight.com, she will be having open houses in the month of December (and she has phone classes for distance learning).
3. I am so grateful for Wite-Out tape. It is the most amazing invention. you don't need to wait for the wite-out to dry and it makes the most perfect lines. I need to buy stock in this product because I am addicted to it. In fact, I probably use wite-out too much because I love using the wite-out tape. Oh well, it's freed me from worrying about being too perfect!

Daily Musings:
Rumi said it best when describing our quest for love and enriching relationships...

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Have a wonderful day and make sure to give unconditional love whenever you can!